I’ve recently discovered a whole new world of absolutely stupid fantasy films on Netflix, and I’m loving every minute of it. People who know me will know that I’m no stranger to low-quality entertainment, which holds an inexplicable appeal for me that serves to counterbalance my admittedly snobby side. It’s not that I can’t tell that these things are bad, far from it. Rather, the badness itself forms a sort of magnetic draw, which I’ve only just begun to understand. The fact is that even though watching a terrible film is obviously not a match for watching a great film, it beats watching a mediocre one each and every time.

It’s their uniqueness that makes all the difference (I know it’s strange to call these invariably derivative movies “unique,” but bear with me here). Great films take risks, and average films treat risks the same way you or I would treat rabid weasels, but bad films, the truly awful ones, are capable of entering extremely insane territory at the blink of an eye. These movies have nothing to lose and they’ll do anything for a little bit of attention, like that one girl in college. You’re far less likely to be bored watching one of these than Under the Tuscan Sun, anyway.

And though this probably means that there’s something wrong with me, I also love the experience of ingesting a story written by a true idiot. Most people being of average intelligence, these are harder to find than you might think, so it’s kind of a treat to run across one. As a fantasy writer, I find it oddly inspiring to listen to dialog that sounds as though it was written by a ten-year-old Dungeon Master. It serves to remind us all of what we’re capable of.

So, yes, I want to make a case for watching horrid garbage. I don’t count it as a waste of time, because it’s honestly ten times more entertaining than watching something that garnered warm reviews, but will be forgotten in five years. I’m going to continue to dredge the depths of Netflix in search of movies that by all rights shouldn’t exist, and probably make comics about them. All who wish to join me in my depravity are welcome.